4-14 Warm December

I did what Tim told me to do. Tim Doorson. I went to my computer that night.

I thought I might have trouble finding him on google of all places. But no. It was not hard at all. I clicked the first thing that I saw.

I was shocked. I blinked at my screen repeatedly until I began reading. A Rockstar? I had never heard of him. David Cook I had heard of, thanks to Harmz. But it kind of made sense, in a way. He could play the guitar very well. He freaked out one time when asomeone was trying to take pictures of him. He was supposed to be dead. I wondered if he had faked his death to escape the pressures of fame. That would make him pretty old, but he was also a warlock. Maybe they had some anti-aging potions? But. Deep down inside. I had this feeling. The feeling that he hadn’t faked his death at all. Given my families’ history, I had a feeling that was the answer. I would have to find out from him.

I read until I got down to biography. For some reason, I didn’t want to continue. It worried me that he had a history with alcohol and drugs. Actually, if I thought about it. I could see the alcohol part. Anytime we went to a bar, he pretty much got trashed. But the fact that according to the website, he had died from a suspected drug overdose. Really worried me.

I got up the next morning, took care of the boys and started making potions. I needed time to think but also keep myself busy. If my feeling was correct, how did he get brought back to life? And by who? I had many questions. I really wished my Dad could have been there with me. He would have been able to help me deal with all of it. He had experienced it himself.

I spent time with Otis after decorating for Christmas, I had been so preoccupied mind wise, that I had failed to notice that he was getting streaks of gray in his fur. He was getting older. I didn’t like that at all. It made me sad.

It didn’t seem to slow him down much, which made me feel more relieved. I just didn’t want to say goodbye to him. He had helped me keep going at a very difficult time in my life. He was my furry angel.

Tim kept true to his words. He came over and spent time with the boys whenever he could. He had also gotten a job at the local school as a teacher and found himself an apartment to rent. I was happy that he was spending time with them and doing what he said he would do. I just hoped he stayed his time. Because it wouldn’t just be me that would be hurt. And if he hurt my sons. I would hurt him.

One day, I walked in on Tim practicing magic. It was the first time I had seen him show any signs that he did have powers. It stunned me for a few moments, but I snapped out of it and called his name. We needed to talk.

“I did what you told me to do. I searched your name on google.” I told him, after we had sat down on the couch.

Before I could continue, he spoke.

“If you read the wiki page on me, not everything on there is true.” He stated.

I told him that what I had read.

“I admit, I had and still do battle with alcoholism. But, I did not die from a drug overdose. I experimented a little at parties, but never got into them. It just wasn’t my thing. I really don’t know why I died. The last thing I remember is getting onto a bath tub and falling asleep.” Tim told me.

I felt, well- relieved about the fact that it wasn’t as bad as the wiki page made it sound. I needed to remember the golden rule – not everything you read on the internet is true.

“So you didn’t fake your death?” I asked him, he shook his head no. So my feeling was right. I had to wonder though. Why did my family keep with this theme? Would my sons someday fall for someone who had been previously dead? Or would it be different for them?

“So you were a big Rockstar? Famous and everything? That must make it kind of hard to have a new life.” I commented.

Tim nodded at everything I said.

“I wasn’t always a warlock though. That happened…after I came back.” He told me, before going still and slowly looking at me.

“Raven.” He started, before looking ahead of him. He seemed to be thinking really hard. “Why aren’t you freaking out about the fact that I was dead? And that I’m alive now? Talking to you. Breathing. All that?” He asked me, totally confused.

“Well…” I started and explained to him my family history, the shortened version. Starting with my Great Grandma Lotta Greaves Gonzalo, onto Beverly Parrott Gonzalo and then my dad, Ransom Clavell Gonzalo.

Tim’s eyed widened in shock.

“There’s others?” He asked me, still stunned.

I let out a slow breath “There were anyway. There was also another family, The Darlings. My Grandpa Gavin and Great Aunt Gabby went to college with some of them. I don’t know what’s going on with them now, I haven’t heard anything about them in years. So, maybe one still exists in their family? I’m not sure.” I explained. But who knows, there could be others out there. I got the feeling, sometimes, that this situation wasn’t as out of the ordinary as a person would think.

“And you didn’t tell me about all this?” He asked, he almost sound angry.

That snapped something in me. “Excuse me?” I asked, in an angry whisper. I got up and stormed off.

You can not slap the father of your children. You can not slap the father of your children. I repeated to myself in my head, taking calming breaths and rubbing my neck in aggravation.

But he had followed me. Not a good idea.

I turned around and pointed my finger at him.

“You have no right to even get anywhere near angry with me for not telling you! It isn’t something I go around telling people! I don’t want to end up in the looney bin!” I yelled “And further more, MR. DOORSON! You! You are the one with all the secrets!! I know you had your reasons, but gah! We were sleeping together! We were friends!” I yelled, almost shaking.

He went to say sorry and I held up my hands, my silent way of telling him to shut up. I needed a few moments.

After I calmed down a little, he quietly apologized and explained he thought he was the only one who had ever gone through coming back to life. And he was sorry for all the secrets.

“I never planned to get involved with anyone. I thought it was better that way. If anyone ever figures out who I am, I’ll have to change my identity. Disappear. They’ll want to do experiments on me and who knows what else. Then they’ll find out I’m a warlock and that could lead them to our sons.” Tim told me, he sounded honestly worried about that.

I looked at him and my rage slowly disappeared. I was starting to understand things a better. And now, he had three other people to worry about protecting other than just himself.

“I’m sorry I snapped. I just…have a lot of emotions that haven’t been resolved yet.” I said, trying to explain it without saying too much. I wasn’t going to tell him that I had loved him. It’d be too much at that moment, or maybe it was just my excuse to protect my heart.

I was going to suggest we go see the boys when he surprised me.

Boy, was I surprised. I just stood there, shocked. He quickly let me go.

I stood there, with my mouth hanging open like a fish that was out of the water.

“What the hell with that???” I asked after I found words.

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Tim had left without saying answering my question that night.

He still came around, helping with the boys. Things were, awkward. Especially when he had to wash his outfit at my house because the boys thought throwing food at him was hilarious. Actually, I did find that part hilarious. But I kept it to myself.

Still, I was glad he was spending time with our sons. And helping out money wise with things for them.

Christmas arrived. I had a big party planned, since it was the boys’ first Christmas were they could really tear into presents and their first Christmas with their Dad. But the weather was not playing nice for my family. Ro, Buffy, Harmz, Eric and Skye all had to cancel their plans to fly in. I was sad, but understood.

I was determined for my kiddos to have a good Christmas regardless.

Tim was able to make it and that was important. He sat down with us on the floor to help the boys unwrap gifts. A few people that I didn’t know from town also made it to the party. It was kind of odd, but oh well.

I wanted to do something nice so I gave Tim clay plaques with each of our sons’ footprints in them. I swear he almost cried. I was glad he liked the gift.

Tim surprised me by giving me a gift. I honestly had expected one. It was a gift certificate for an all day trip to the local spa. He said he’d watched the boys for me. It was very nice of him to do that and I was certainly going to use it.

After we all ate the dinner I made, I looked out the window. The weather was not letting up. The other people had left earlier, wanting to get home safely. I was worried about Tim. I battled with my idea, but knew it was the right thing to do.

“Tim.” I started, I was nervous. I wasn’t sure why. I was just going to offer him the guest room. It wasn’t like I was offering him my bed. “The weather outside is still pretty nasty. Would you…like to stay in the guest room tonight?” I asked, quietly.

“That’d be great.” He replied, smiling before going over to the boys.

I breathed a sigh of relief and followed after him.

“Let’s start getting you guys to bed.” Tim said, picking up Tyson up.

“Thanks for helping me get them to bed. And getting them settled down. I guess they were excited about Christmas after all.” I said, feeling tired. It had taken a while to get them to sleep.

“I’m just glad I could help. And thanks for letting me stay here tonight, Raven.” Tim told me, smiling slightly.

We looked at each other awkwardly for a few seconds before heading to separate bedrooms.

I got changed for bed and laid down beside Otis. Sleep did not come easy, even though I was tired. My mind didn’t want to shut off and let my body rest.

And when it finally did, it woke me up a few hours later.

Since I was up, I cleaned the bathroom. I needed something to do. And I didn’t want to wake up anyone.

I finally went to the kitchen and made some coffee.

I was quietly sipping my coffee when I heard soft footsteps behind me. I turned and saw Tim. I had wonder why he was up.

But I politely asked him to join me for coffee at the table.

He agreed, but only if he could move the “creepy gnome Santa” first. I let him.

We drank our coffee quietly until it was gone, then Tim took our mugs to the sink, washed them and sat back down by me.

“I’m sorry about the other night. I shouldn’t have just kissed you like that. And then left without explaining myself.” Tim said, apologizing. At least he was the one who brought it up.

I thought about asking why he kissed me. And why he took off, but I was scared to. We had a great night with the kids, I didn’t want to ruin it. So I kept my mouth shut after thinking about it for a while, before looking over at him. “Apology accepted.”

I stood up and stretched, he followed my movements.

I scratched at the side of my temple, trying to think of something to talk about. I thought about asking him how he became a warlock. He said that didn’t happen until after he came back to life. That didn’t happen with any of my family, so I had a guess that someone had made him one.

But he started starting me. With this goofy look in his eyes. I raised an eyebrow.

He pulled me close and hugged me, but it wasn’t inappropriate. There was no groping. Thankfully. But it still felt. Intimate somehow. At least it was for me.

“Thank you. Thank you for letting me a part of our sons lives. I feel so happy when I’m with them.” He whispered to me. That made me heart melt. I was glad to hear that. “I almost missed out on all of it.” Tim continued before pulling back. He stepped back a little.

“Until you and Buffy came and saved me. Not only did you give birth to our sons, but you helped save me from vampires. You’re an amazing woman, Raven Gonzalo.” Tim told me.

I could feel myself blushing. I wasn’t used to someone saying things like that to me. But I had to try not to let his words go to my heart.

Then he grabbed my hand and twirled me, softly singing a song I didn’t recognize. Maybe it was one of the songs he used to sing in his previous life? I’d have to look up the lyrics sometime. We danced for a bit, while he continued to sing until he dipped me.

I laughed and he held me there. “Okay, okay. You can let me up now.” I said, still laughing. And he almost did pull me back up.

Until he didn’t.

4-13 Strange Days

Holding my boys.

That was the first thing on my list to do when I got home. Then holding Otis. I had missed them all, even though I knew they had been in good and capable hands with my brother.

It was also great to be back in my own bed. Even if I was rethinking the Eric Northman poster after the whole vampire thing in Bridgeport.

I was thinking about a lot of things though. The man that once called himself Dean, was sent to a special hospital by Buffy. I wasn’t sure when he was going to get out of there. I tried not to think about it.

So, I tried to distract myself by going to the Fall Festival with Blaise, Kimberly and my boys. I ran into Marc there and we talked a bit. Thankfully, it was not awkward after we slept together. I was grateful for that.

I lost a pie eating contest to a six year old. Now that. That was awkward. And embarrassing when I puked my guts out afterwards.

Some nights I tried to distract myself by reading quietly by the fire place after the triplets went to sleep. Otis would join me on the love seat, sitting beside me. Watching the fire dance in front of us.

My boys were growing. Other than making their toys disappear once in a while, you couldn’t tell there was anything different with Tyler and Tyson. I kind of hoped it would stay that way.

Otis was enjoying the fall weather. It would soon be time for Spooky Day. And then Thanksgiving.

I called Ro to check on him and Buffy and to also see if they had heard anything on whatever his name is. Buffy hadn’t heard anything. I wasn’t sure what to do when he eventually did get out. That is, if he even wanted to see me. I did happen to help save him. And I felt he owed me answers. I just didn’t know how to explain that he was a Father to him. Well. Sperm donor. Who knew if he even wanted to be a Father.

I went to Blaise for advice, in case he did want to see me. I wasn’t sure how to handle the situation. And Blaise had been my friend since I had come to Twinbrook.

“I know it’ll be hard, but Raven. You need to hear him out. If you think he’s feeding you a line of bull. Call him on it after he’s done. But try to hear him out. You both have been through a lot since you last saw each other. We don’t know how long those people had him. It could have been right after he left Aurora Skies.” Blaise told me.

She had a point. I didn’t know how long the vampires had him. But he still left. But, I also didn’t say how I felt. This situation was not easy.

I decided to do something fun, I threw a Spooky Day party! I invited the family. They all showed up too. And Marc. Who thought me dressing as a hot dog was hilarious.

I talked to Buffy. There still wasn’t any updates on “him”. It was frustrating.

So, I decided to dance.

“Bet you’ve never seen a hot dog move like this, huh Skye?” I asked, showing off my dance moves. While I didn’t inherit the skill of grilling from my family. Dancing, I did. Gilberto would be proud.

“This family is so embarrassing.” Skye said, sighing before getting hit on by an old guy.

I ended the night by dancing with Marc. I actually had fun that night, it was much needed.

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Close to the end of fall. There was a knock on my door late one night after I had gotten back from having dinner with Blaise and DeAndre. We had hired a babysitter for all the kids.

I went to answer it…

The moment I saw him through the door. I knew who it was. I felt the breath leave my body. I had to remind myself to breathe. It was him. I stared at him for a good minute before I remembered he had knocked on the door.

I opened it and stepped outside. It was getting cold.

“May I help you?” I asked, trying not to sound mean. I think I failed.

“I want to talk to you.” He stated, rubbing his hands together.

I caved. I invited him in. I wasn’t going to freeze to talk to him. And it would be kind of bad if I let him freeze. Even though a small part of me wanted to.

Once inside, things were silent. He scratched his head and tried to think of how to start. I waited a little bit. Then go impatient.

“So, are you just going to stare at the floor or talk to me like you said you wanted to? Which is a change. Because you know you changed your freaking phone number after you said you would stay in touch with me and all.” I said before I could stop myself. I was still angry and hurt.

And not following Blaise’s advice at all.

That seemed to get his attention.

“Raven. I did not change my number. It was probably disconnected because the bill wasn’t paid. Those vampires abducted me soon after I got to England.”

Oh. Well.

“You’re a warlock! You couldn’t have fought them off or something?! Buffy is a human and she took down two! You still left me!” I yelled at him.

I hadn’t meant to yell at him. Especially the last part. Before I could cover up what I said, I heard wailing through the baby monitor.

I took off downstairs, not even saying anything to him. But I heard him follow me.

“You have kids?” He asked me, after I had calmed down Taylor.

“No, I just borrowed these three for fun.” I replied, sarcastically. I couldn’t help myself for some reason.

“Raven.” He said, looking at me. “Are they ours?”

Ours. His and mine. Our sons. How I wanted him around so badly when I was pregnant. Now the word ours filled me with sadness.

“Yes.” I said quietly. “I found out I was pregnant about a month after you left. I tried to call you, to tell you. But your number was out of service. Now I know why.”

I waited for him to accuse me of them not being his. To deny it, but he looked at them and looked at me, nodding. He accepted it. That was a relief to me. Maybe he was using logic. Because why would I lie? It would be so much easier if someone else was their father.

We headed back upstairs because the boys were going back to sleep.

I could feel him watching me. I couldn’t figure out how that made me feel.

“I’m sorry you had to go through your pregnancy and having them by yourself. I…wish I could have been here.” He said quietly.

I felt he actually meant those words.

“Thank you. My family did help me out a lot. And my friend, Blaise too.” I told him. I didn’t want him to think something that wasn’t true.

He sighed. “I never thought I’d end up….having kids. But. I would like to be involved in their lives, Raven. I want to help you with them anyway I can. I’m going to try to get a job, teaching. Here in Twinbrook. So, if you need money for them. Or someone to watch them…”

I almost started crying. But I held myself together. He actually wanted to be involved with them. I was stunned.

“Are..any of them warlocks?”

I explained that Tyler and Tyson are and Taylor is not.

“I don’t know what to do with that area at all. It freaked me out when they started making their toys disappear.” I admitted to him.

“That’s pretty common for magical children. I’m not totally an expert on it myself, but I will help out with that anyway I can. And anything else you four need. ” He told me.

That was a huge relief.

“I know I didn’t tell you about my powers, but I don’t tell anyone. There’s people that hunt us. Including vampires who want to use our powers for their own plans. Which is what Elvira and Vladimir planned to do. They put a bracelet on me that stopped me from using my powers. I could only use my powers when they  took the bracelet off me, which was rare. And anytime they did..well they had ways of making sure I did what they wanted.” He explained. A dark look came into his eyes.

I didn’t ask what they used to make sure he did what they wanted. I didn’t want to know really.

There was silence for a bit. I just looked at him. Half of me couldn’t believe he was really there.

“What’s your name? Your REAL name. I know it isn’t Dean. Why did you go by some made up name?” I asked, confused.

He looked at me a moment before answering.

“Google my name.” He paused and sighed “Tim Doorson.”

4-12 Operation Rescue

I made my decision.

Bridgeport. The city my Great Grandma Lotta was born, raised and burnt to death to a fire in. But I had to think positive. She got to come back to life, met my Great Grandpa Gil. Had 3 kids and got to have a happy life after that. I just hoped there was a happy end to my trip to this city.

I arrived at the “safe house” with Buffy. It was really just a cheap rental property outside of the main part of the city. But it blended in with the other cheap rental properties, so I guess it worked.

“Now that we’re here, we need to do your makeover.” Buffy started. I was going to ask why, but she continued. “You need to look like someone Vladimir will go after. He has a type.”

Buffy explained that Vladimir, one of two vampires who kidnapped “Dean” likes his women with black hair and revealing clothing.

I dyed my hair black. It didn’t look too bad actually. I was getting nervous though. Was this going to really work? Or were we all going to end up as vamp snacks.

Then came the outfit. I had never worn something like it before. I admit, while I did feel kind of awkward, I also felt a bit sexy. I also put on fake red nails to add to my look.

“So?” I asked and Buffy smiled at me, nodding with approval. She filled me in on what I had to do and what she was going to do. She also showed me pictures of the two vampires, so I’d know who I was looking for. We weren’t wasting anytime. The sun was beginning to go down. I didn’t want to be away from my sons longer than I had to be.

Buffy drove us close to the graveyard, where the hangout was of Vladimir and his partner. I got out and headed to the crypt, which she said held the door to the hangout. She was right.

I got in with the magic word, True Blood. Not sure how Buffy knew it. Wasn’t going to ask. All I know is, my heart felt like it was going to explode out of my chest as I walked down those stairs and into the room.

There he stood, my so called target. He spotted me right away. Well, at least I didn’t have to work to get his attention.

I sat down and glanced at him, before taking a bite of candy from the bowl on the bar. I could feel him starting at me. I looked back up and Elvira was starting me down too. I asked for a drink, since it was a bar and Vladimir called for the bartender, without taking his gaze off me.

The bartender made me my drink and I quietly sipped it. I didn’t want to act like I was trying to put myself on Vladimir’s radar.

I heard a noise behind me and turned in my stool, to see what was going on.

The bartender was becoming Elvira’s snack. There was also a skeleton maid. Was there something in my drink?

I got up, looking for the bathroom. I needed a moment. I was starting to freak out on the inside.

“Going so soon, my sweet?” A voice came from behind me. It had an accent to it that I couldn’t place, but I knew who it was. To my credit, I didn’t scream or jump. I froze as I felt a shiver run up my spine.

“I was looking for the restroom. I wanted to touch up my makeup.” I explained, batting my eyes slowly at him.

“There is no need, for you are already quite beautiful.” Vladimir said. If I wasn’t there on a mission, I could see how someone could easily fall for seductive lure. The accent, the aura of danger. His looks. His words.

He presented me with flowers. I wasn’t sure where he got them, but he magically produced them. Maybe it was a vampire thing?

“Oh, why thank you.” I said sweetly taking them from him.

“Red is my favorite color.” He said, smiling. I could see a hint of his fangs.

Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Elvira ordering the skeleton maid around. I heard something about a body. My guess, the bartender. That made me want to vomit.

Vladimir led me over to a seat in the corner, asking me where I was from. Why had he not seen me before? I lied about where I was from. I said Hidden Springs. It was where Great Grandma Lotta was brought back to life. Maybe that’s why it came to mind.

I kept talking to Vladimir, flirting with him a bit. But not over the top. I even let him hold my hand. His touch was ice cold. I felt like he was going to ask me to go somewhere with him soon. I hoped Buffy would show up, because I did not want to go somewhere with him.

Then I heard a loud noise.

I looked over and Buffy had tackled Elvira to the ground. I gasped, wondering how she did it.

Vladimir left my side and went over to Buffy and Elvira. He was distracted. The skeleton maid was nowhere in sight, I took that as my cue. I went out into the hallway and went to the only door that was there, besides the entrance to the club. Buffy said that was the door.

I opened it…

There he laid. He didn’t look like the man I remembered. He didn’t even notice me come into the room at first. Then he saw me and slowly got up.

“Raven?” He asked quietly. Blinking his eyes. I guess he was shocked.

“Yes. Now let’s get out of here. Don’t ask questions, just follow me.” I told him in my mother tone. The one that didn’t leave room for agreements.

He followed me, to my surprise and relief.

Buffy was flighting with Vladimir when I went to check on her. I didn’t want to leave her behind.

“I’ve got them handled, now GO!” She yelled. I felt torn, but did as she commanded.

I led whatever his name is through the graveyard, we ran out of the entrance with Buffy shouting behind us to keep on running. I stopped to catch my breath. Running in heels isn’t my thing. The man behind me told me to keep going, so I did.

4-11 Where Are You Now?

I didn’t know what to think after Lady Cooper’s visit. Dean really wasn’t Dean? He actually felt something for me? Then, why did he lie? Was he some kind of criminal on the run? Maybe that’s why he left and changed his number. He’s a witch? How was I going to raise witches? I know anything about magic! My mind was in overdrive. But it didn’t really matter, beyond my sons. Not even a witch knew where he was. I had to let it go before it drove me nuts.

I called Ro and filled him on in Lady Cooper’s visit. After some swearing and threats on his part, the conversation ended. Then, I got a text from Skye. She decided to fly to Lucky Palms and meet Harmz there for a two week shopping trip.

I was alone with my kids. I hadn’t been alone with them since they were born. It scared me, to be totally honest. But I had to remember, they are my sons. And that I love them. Even if I’d liked to punch their “Dad” in the crotch.

I decided to paint in my limited spare time. Stress relief. I needed it.

The boys weren’t too badly behaved. Thank God for those darn imaginary friend dolls. Toddlers love them.

One night Blaise showed up at my house. Her and her boyfriend, DeAndre Wolfe, had gotten into a huge fight and broke up. They had been living together and he kicked her out. I told her she could stay with me. Reinforcements with the boys! I didn’t say that part to her, but I was thinking it.

To my shock, Blaise brought her daughter- Kimberly- with her. I had no idea she even had a kid. It didn’t matter though, they were both welcomed into my house.

I had fun loosing to Kimberly at a video game. I hadn’t played in a while.

I thought I was handling things well…..

Until I got woke up by Tyson. I snapped.

“WHY ARE WE SCREAMING?!” I raged. Meanwhile, Tyson sat down in his crib and ignored me.

Blaise heard all the screaming and came into the nursery.

“Raven. Chill and go back to bed, I’ve got the boys.” Blaise told me firmly. I imagine it was the tone she used on Kimberly.

I did as she said. After I apologized to Tyson, who didn’t seem to care either way.

I got up the next morning and my sons were playing with their activity table. Blaise’s work. Then she told me to get out of the house and go do something fun. Something to relieve stress.

I walked around a bit before Marc texted me, asking me how I’ve been. I was actually in his neighborhood, so I stopped by.

We got to talking….

And flirting. I had always been attracted to Marc. But I had been pregnant and then mostly shut up in my house with the triplets. It was bad timing. He admitted he found my attractive.

I don’t know what made me do it, but I did it. I grabbed him and kissed him. Then I pulled back, stunned by myself. I was going to apologize and run away in horror.

But Marc liked what I did. He pulled me back to him.

And into his room…..

I hadn’t been with anyone since “Dean”. And while Marc was someone I’d call a friend, there was no pressure of love, of feelings. It was great.

I was pretty darn happy about it.

“Have fun with Marc?” Blaise asked me later that night, while reading her medical journal.

I almost choked on my cake as my cheeks grew hot at the memories. “You could say that.”

“Mmmhmm.” Was all Blaise said, she knew.

I decided to have a cookout. But I don’t think the Gonzalo grilling skills are strong in me. I burnt the hot dogs. Good thing other people brought food.

But it was fun. And there was a surprise at the end.

I had a feeling those two would get back together. I hadn’t even met DeAndre until that day, but for some reason. I had a feeling.

Though I wasn’t expecting Blaise to propose to the guy. But it’s her life. It made her happy. I was certainly in no place to give relationship advice, that was for sure.

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Blaise and Kimberly moved back in with DeAndre. I was actually adjusting to raising the triplets solely by myself. Skye was still shopping with Harmz. I don’t get how you can shop for two weeks, but okay.

Summer was winding down. I was starting to think about what costumes I could get for the boys for Spooky day. They could actually partipate in Christmas. They might not remember it, but I was looking forward to them ripping into their presents by the Christmas tree.

I was busy daydreaming, carrying a load of laundry. I didn’t even hear the door.

I let out a small squeak in surprise and dropped my laundry basket.

“Who are you and what are you doing my house?!” I yelled, going for my house phone to call the police.

“It’s Buffy.” The woman responded.

I blinked as she turned around.

She walked over and stood in front of me. She did look different, like Ro said.

“It’s me….I just…look a bit different.” Buffy said, quietly. She looked to the side.

“Roland told me what happened…” I told her.

She nodded and looked at me. “That’s not why I’m here. The man you know as Dean is in danger.”

I gasped and looked at her. “What kind of danger?” I asked her. Why did I care? I told myself it was because of the boys. It had to be.

“He’s been captured by vampires. They want to use his magic for something, I just don’t know what yet. But they must be doing something to keep him from using his powers to free himself, otherwise we wouldn’t be having this talk right now.” Buffy told me, like she was talking to me about the weather.

Vampires? Well. Everything else seemed to be real, so why not them too.

It was a lot to take in. My head was swimming, I couldn’t focus on just one thought.

I heard the door and looked over, Ro walked in and picked up Tyson.

“I’ll take care of them while you two go to Bridgeport.”

“Bridgeport?” I asked and looked at Buffy. But the boys started crying. It was dinner time. Then it was bath time and bed time. Before I knew it, it was time for sleep.

But I couldn’t sleep yet. I needed more answers. I pulled Buffy into my room.

“Roland is going to watch the boys while we go to Bridgeport to get this man. That is, if you want to help me get him.” Buffy said. She gave me a few moments to think.

Did I want to help get him? I wanted answers. But how was I supposed to help rescue someone from vampires? That sounded really dangerous.

“I know it’ll be dangerous, but I’m ready. I’ve been training for this since I was 15 years old.” Buffy told me.

I was extremely confused, to say the least. Training? Did she need medication?

“I’m a vampire slayer.” She added, my confusion must have been written all over my face.

It took me two seconds before I blurted out something “So you hunt vampires and slay them? Do they sparkle?” I asked, stupidly. I felt like I was in a different form of existence. Nothing made sense.

“They do not sparkle. But yes, basically.” She paused “Vampires are the ones who attacked me. I wasn’t quite ready then.” She said, quietly.

I felt bad for her.

“It is what it is. It can’t be changed. I’m going to rescue him, with or without you. But it’d be easier with you. I need bait.” Buffy told me. “So, are you in?”

I needed time to think. Bait? That did not sound safe. I had to think of my boys. But this was also their Father. Maybe he ran away for a reason? What if something happened to him during all this and I had to tell my sons that I didn’t try to help their Dad?

After not sleeping all night, I went for a run in the morning. I had no idea what I was going to do.

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4-10 Just Breathe

I won’t lie. I got out of the house as soon as I could once I realized there was three people to watch three babies. I hadn’t gotten out much in the last year. I took advantage of the opportunity and made it last as long as I thought was doable.

When I got home, everything was fine. Harmz and Eric were holding Taylor and Tyson. Tyler was playing in the toy box.

My guests even helped eat up some of the Birthday cake, which was fine by me. I found out though, while we were getting sugar highs, that Harmz and Eric weren’t staying long. They were off to Africa, for one of Eric’s assignments. That made me sad.

Skye was staying though. She was going to help me with the triplets.

“Wooo!!! Let’s go dancing Skye! I’ll teach you how to club dance!” I exclaimed.

She said nothing. Just shook her head and headed downstairs. Party pooper.

I hugged Harmz goodbye that night. I didn’t want her and Eric to leave. But I understood. It was still nice to see them again.

Skye did catch me up on laundry though and clean the house. That was pretty awesome of her. So, she’s not all that bad.

I taught the boys how to walk. Skye offered to help me, which I truly appreciated. But I felt I needed to do it. I’m not sure why. Maybe it’s because I’m their Mom and Dad? I’m not sure.

So Skye spent some time on the science machine thing Ro bought me. She really loved it.

I taught the boys how to talk too. Not to be biased, but I think they’re all pretty smart.

I still made sure to spend time with Otis. He and Skye get along well too. Sometimes I wondered if I should get another cat, so he’d have company. But, some cats like to be the only cat. I wasn’t sure what to do on that one.

I potty trained the boys. Tyler wasn’t too enthusiastic about it, but it had to be done.

Skye got a job at the fortune-teller place in town. Her work outfit was…interesting.

Things were going well. Smoothly. And then…one day…

I had to be seeing things. Tyson’s toy vanished. I left the room and got some water to drink. I had to be dehydrated.

But then it happened again when I got back. I turned to leave to get Skye, just to make sure I wasn’t having an episode or something.

Then I heard giggling. I glanced over my shoulder. Tyson had his toy back. What in the blazes was going on?

And then. It happened with Tyler. I yelled for Skye. We stood there and watched him for a few moments.

His toy reappeared, surrounded by green sparkles. I almost passed out. Skye suggested watching Tyler too.

Nothing happened with him. Not when he played. Or when he was in his walker. Nothing.

I was very confused. This had to be some kind of magic. But how? The only magic that had ever been in my family was Eric when he was a fairy. And he married into the family. He was Skye’s Dad, not mine. Though my Dad was brought back to life by a witch. Had that somehow been passed on down the line?

There was only one person I could think of that could help me. So I found her number in my phone and called her. I had to have answers. I needed to know what I was dealing with. What my sons were dealing with.

Oddly enough, I was most worried about Taylor. If he was the “normal” one, would he feel left out when it comes to his brothers? I hoped not. I wanted them to have the bond I had with Ro growing up.

 

I was a nervous wreck by the time she came. I had to remind myself to breathe.

Lady Cooper. Despite her awful tea pouring skills, she had provided my family with answers before. Not sure why she requested I set up a tea party table for her, but I was desperate. I’d do what she wanted.

“So. As I told you on the phone. Two of my sons have developed some interesting…skills.” I told her. I was freaked out to call it what I was sure it was.

“They were born with it. They’re warlocks, dear. Just the two. Taylor is human like you.” She explained, before drinking some tea.

Warlocks. Magic. But Taylor was human like me. I didn’t understand this at all.

As if sensing my confusing, she added “They get it from their Father. He’s a warlock too.”

“What do you mean Dean is a warlock?!” I exclaimed. How could I not know that? I took a deep breath and released it. “Sorry.”

“I know it’s a shock, Raven. There’s a lot you don’t know about your former paramour. Like that fact that Dean is not his real name. I knew him. Well. Used to. Though I’m not sure where he is now, before you ask. If I knew, I would tell you.” She told me.

I was stunned. He’s a warlock. Dean isn’t his real name. Did I actually know him at all? Was it all a lie?

“What you felt was real. And believe it or not, he actually did care for you. I hadn’t seen him get that close to anyone in a long time.”

I stood up. I couldn’t believe this. It seemed every time things seemed okay, I found out something new where Dean…or whatever his name is, is concerned that threw me through a loop. And I hadn’t even seen or heard from him in almost two years.

Lady Cooper pulled out a wand. That explains some things. I thought she was going to use it on me, but instead. She made herself disappear without a word.

“Wait!” I called. But it was to the air. I didn’t know what to do with warlock children. And for some reason. Her words. Telling me that he cared for me. That he hadn’t gotten that close to anyone in a long time. They ran through my mind. I shook my head. He was gone. He hadn’t contacted me. In fact, his number had changed. I couldn’t contact him either. And not even Lady Cooper knew where he was? I guess he didn’t want to be found.

4-9 The Circle of Life

Having Ro around was a huge help. Huge. There was no way I could have taken care of three babies by myself.

And it allowed me to do things I would have been neglecting. I made a few potions to sell. Ro said he’d take them to the store for me.

I also got outside to my garden. It was nice to breathe fresh air again. I hadn’t been outside the house since the triplets were born. Yeah, it was just a few days. But I felt stir crazy, not getting to go outside.

Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t leave it all up to my brother. I wouldn’t do that. And I missed my boys.

Ro is an awesome Uncle. I think he’d make a great Dad. But, maybe I’m biased.

Even if he does use way too much baby powder when he changes diapers.

But, even with Ro’s help. It was a hard job. We were both pretty tired in the beginning. Pretty sure I fell asleep standing up a few times. Somehow I didn’t sleep long enough of fall over.

Things got a bit easier as time passed. We developed a system. A rhythm. I was so thankful to have my brother with me. Not only for his help, but I had missed him. I did feel bad though. Roland has a wife. And he was away from her to help me. And it was not his job to help raise his nephews. It should have been Dean. He was their Father. It wasn’t fair.

I also worried that Otis was feeling neglected, so I tried to make sure to spend time with him. Until the boys were born, he wasn’t used to sharing my affection with others. It had to be an adjustment for him, though he seemed to handle it well. While he didn’t hang out in the boys’ room – probably too much noise- he didn’t seem to hate them. I hoped.

As time went by, Roland went part-time with the local firehouse. He said he missed doing his job. I couldn’t blame him for that.

I’ll admit. Sometimes, I had a hard time telling which kid was which. For some reason, they were all bald. That concerned me. But their doctor said they should get hair as they age. Kind of weird to me, but hey. I’m not a doctor. Regardless, I still loved my hairless babies.

Something had been nagging at me concerning my brother. So, one night when the boys were all asleep. A miracle, to me. I pulled Ro over to the couch and sat him down.

“Want to tell me why you’re not wearing your wedding ring?” I asked him. I wasn’t sure if he took it off at some point these past months or he had gotten here without it. I was sleep deprived for a long time. I wasn’t paying attention.

Ro glared at me. I didn’t care.

“Buffy and I are on a break.” He simply stated.

My eyes widened “Do you two think you’re Ross and Rachel or something? A break???” I asked, shocked.

Ro sighed “I don’t know who those people are.” He said, annoyed.

“You don’t ever watch re-runs?! Friends! Hello!” I exclaimed, then shook my head. That wasn’t important.

“Okay…why are you two on a break?” I asked, calmly.

“Buffy…she was attacked over a year ago. And it messed up her face pretty badly.” Ro said, sadly. He looked like he was going to cry.

I was stunned. I had no idea. I wanted to hug him. Then smack him. He never told me.

“I know I never told you. You had stuff going on with that douchebag Dean. I…didn’t want to add to it.” Ro admitted.

I sighed and hugged him quickly, before leaning back.

“Anyway. She’s had plastic surgery to try to fix it. And she thinks she’s ugly. I still think she’s beautiful. But she started pushing me away. The harder I tried to be with her, the more she pushed. And I guess she finally had enough, because she asked for a break. She said she needs time to herself to heal. Not just physically. And – even though I didn’t want to. I gave her the space. And you had the triplets, so I needed to help you anyway. So it worked out in a way.” He explained, sighing.

“Ro. I’m sorry this happened to Buffy. And to you. But – don’t let her push you away for good.” I told him and motioned to the staircase, leading downstairs. “Don’t have regrets like I do. Sometimes I think if I had told Dean that I loved him. He wouldn’t have left. And my boys would have a Dad. But I didn’t. I have to live with what if. Please. Don’t do that to yourself. She’s had time. You need to go back and not only tell her that you love her, but show her.”

“But what if it just makes her angry and she tries to divorce me or something?” Roland asked me.

“Then at least you tried. You’ll know you tried and so will she. But I honestly don’t think she’ll push you way. I think she’ll see that she loves you. I’ve watched you two around each other since I was little. You two are meant to be.”  I told him. I felt that way anyway.

Roland sighed and nodded. “I’ll text her that I’m coming home soon, after the triplets’ Birthday.”

We celebrated Ro coming to his senses, by building an igloo. Because we’re adults.

Yes. It was true. My boys were having their first Birthday! I was a mixture of sad, excited and scared. They’d be mobile after they learned to walk. That sacred me. Thankfully Ro had already child proofed the entire house.

He bought their cakes for me and was the only one, besides me, at their party. I felt it was fitting for it to be that way. Plus less of a mess to clean up.

I helped Taylor, Tyler and Tyson blow out their candles. Because well. They couldn’t do it themselves.

“CAKE!!” Ro shouted. He was really excited about that cake.

They instantly got hair, like their bottles were filled with Rogaine. Tyler had black hair. He reminded me a lot of his sperm donor. Tyson…he reminded me of my Dad. And my Mom too. I almost cried looking at him. And Taylor, I’m not sure who he took after on that day. I wasn’t sure where he got that hair color.

Ro bought them all imaginary friend dolls. Which they loved. And I loved, because they were so quite playing with them. Except for cute little baby noises to the toys.

Ro had a Birthday too, the next day! “Woo! You’re getting older! Watch out for wrinkles!”

“Shut up Raven. I’m trying to make my wish a good one!” He said, before blowing out his candles.

I sent him back off to Bridgeport with a hug and a container full of cake. I don’t need to eat all that cake. I was going to miss him, but was hopeful he could fix things with Buffy.

Then I realized. I was alone with the triplets. I almost puked. Then in walked a surprise.

“Where are those babies’ at??” Harmz asked me. She had gotten…older. But was still pretty.

“In the kitchen…..” I said stunned. That was odd timing. Ro had to have told her he was leaving or something.

Then these two showed up too. Eric had aged as well. But was still working. I wondered if he’d ever stop.

Skye. She was older now too. And pretty, just like her Mom.

I love my family. Before the triplets were born, I had felt so alone. Not anymore.

4-8 Precious Things

I had decided to move. I never felt at home in Aurora Skies. Though I wasn’t sure if I’d feel at home anywhere again. My homes were gone. My family.

I decided on Twinbrook. While googling “Most community centered towns” it was one of the top ones. I decided to try it.

It was Spring by the time I got everything settled to move. My first day in town I already liked it more than Aurora Skies. Don’t get me wrong, that town is beautiful. It truly is. But I almost never saw people in the town. It made me feel even more alone.

After settling into the house, which oddly looked similar to the one I had in Aurora Skies, I went to the Spring Festival. I actually had fun there.

Well. For the most part. I should have known better when the guy started slurring his words.

I went home, washed it off and changed. I wanted to check out Twinbrook’s bar/club scene.

I arrived and ordered a drink, just people watching. Because there was actual people around.

After my second drink, I started getting bored and almost left. Until I heard this lady insult this guy a few seats down. Not sure why that caught my attention. But it turned out he walked right in front of her and sat down in the seat she was going for.

Her name was Blaise Kindle. I told her the seat next to me was open. She sat down next to me and we started talking. She was actually a pretty cool person. We talked about our lives and drank a few drinks together. Granted I didn’t say anything about Dean. I didn’t want to think about him. But it was nice to talk to someone.

I think I had too much to drink though, because I was sure paying for it later.

I had to make a mad dash to the toilet. I sworn I’d never drink again.

I got invited to house parties. By people I didn’t know, but I liked it. I felt like I was being accepted. In some strange way. I met a guy named Marc Brandt. He seemed cool.

I drank juice at the parties. Not booze. I didn’t know Twinbrook had hookers though. At least I think that’s what Kat Hunter was.

I definitely felt more welcome in Twinbrook. I even had neighbors across the street. But I still came home to an empty house – outside of Otis & my fish. That part really bummed me out. I also didn’t understand why my fence was so crooked.

Thankfully, Blaise invited me to the bar. We danced and had fun.

I ran into Marc there and danced with him too. I just hoped he didn’t think I was looking at him as more than a friend. I wasn’t ready to go there. I doubted I would be for a long time.

And I did something I said I wasn’t going to do again. But I only had one that time.

Oddly though, it still upset my stomach. I had to cut the night short and go home. After I got home though, I started thinking that was weird. I never had a trouble with just one drink. It confused me. Then I realized something….

“Blaise. I haven’t gotten my period since before I moved here.” I told her the next day. She stopped by after work. Which conveniently for me, she works at the Hospital.

“Maybe it’s just stress from the move….but I’ve always been pretty regular. And I’ve gotten sick a couple of times in the past few weeks.”

“Okay. Let me go get some pregnancy tests at the pharmacy and we’ll go from there.” She told me, in her professional tone.

I waited with Otis while she went to go get the tests for me. I was so nervous. What if I was pregnant? My life was going to change forever. And…Dean would be the father. He was the only one I had slept with in over a year. That thought broke my heart. I shook my head. No, I couldn’t be pregnant. Something else was going on.

Soon, Blaise returned. I took both tests, just to be sure.

“Raven. Both tests are the same. You can always get another one done at the Hospital, just to be sure. But, I do believe them. You’re pregnant.”

I fainted after that. The next thing I remembered was Blaise lightly slapping my cheek and helping me up off the floor. I went with her to the Hospital and the test there said the same thing.

I couldn’t believe it. A baby. Me? Was I ready to be a Mom? I didn’t think I was. But it was happening. Whether I was ready or not.

I called and told Ro first. I knew if I told Harmz first, she wouldn’t be able to contain herself and my brother would find out from someone who isn’t me.

“So….guess what? You’re going to be an Uncle.” I said, nervously laughing. What followed was a lot of cursing and threats to Dean. I eventually had to just hang up, because I was pretty sure I was loosing my hearing in my right ear from Roland freaking out.

Then I decided to do something I didn’t want to do. But he had the right to know. I called Dean’s number. I hadn’t texted or called him since the last time I saw him. But he hadn’t contacted me either. But the number said it was disconnected.

I felt sick. And not because of the pregnancy. He told me we could keep in touch then his number is no longer in service? If he hadn’t gotten a new number, he certainly didn’t tell me. I felt like all our time together didn’t matter. Our friendship. All of it. I wanted to just go to bed and cry. Never get up again. But I couldn’t do that. I had a baby growing inside of me to take care of. It wasn’t the babies’ fault. I had to be strong for him or her.

So I was. Even though I was sick a lot. I didn’t remember Harmz getting that sick with Skye, but I read it’s different for each woman.

It was weird though. Some days I was sick, some days I just wanted to eat.

I talked to Ro on the phone again. He had calmed down. After he got over the shock, he was excited about it. He said he’d visit as soon the baby was born. I was looking forward to it.

I bought some pregnancy books. We used to have ones that had been passed down since Great Grandma Lotta’s pregnancy with my Grandpa Gavin, but sadly they had been destroyed in the fire. I wanted to do my research though. I didn’t know what to really expect. Harmz was my only source of information when it came to pregnancy and all that stuff and I didn’t want to text her every time I had a question. Plus, it made me feel connected to my family. Doing something most of the women in my family had done during their pregnancies.

I went to the bar once in a while with Blaise. No, I didn’t drink. I was craving bar food. Especially their hot wings. I couldn’t get enough of them.

I started showing, which made it even more real to me. I was starting to get attached to the baby. I was starting to feel ready to be a Mom. In the beginning, adoption had danced through my mind a few times. But I knew I couldn’t do it.

Otis handled me being pregnant well. I wasn’t sure how he’d feel about it. But he liked to cuddle up to my stomach and just purr or have me hold him on top my bump.

He also insisted on sleeping with me every night. Before the pregnancy, he only slept with me once in a while.

My feet really started to hurt me. I was still working and spending the time on my feet, making potions was getting hard on me. Yes, I had stuck with my career. In the beginning, it was very hard to do it. But I had to remember. I didn’t fall in love with alchemy because of Dean. It happened because I enjoyed it and found something I was good at.

My stomach kept growing, as did the baby. I was waddling and it felt weird. The doctor said the baby was doing fine. I decided to not find out the gender until birth. But had already finished the nursery, using gender neutral colors.

Close to the end of my pregnancy, it was late in summer. I decided to have a pool party. I invited Blaise and Marc, then told them to invite people. It worked.

How I managed to get on a float, I wasn’t sure. Outside of Marc helping me onto it. But I enjoyed myself that day.

I especially enjoyed the pizza that I had delivered.

My back was killing me by the end of the day though. I was at the point where I couldn’t wait for the baby to be born. I was starting to feel miserable.

I still kept in regular touch with Ro. I think we talked more after he learned he’d be an Uncle. I couldn’t wait to see him again.

I became more obsessed with my bump. Talking to the baby. Telling them it was time to come out. But he or she was stubborn. They weren’t doing things on my time-table.

My bed was no longer comfortable for me. Neither was the couch. I had to start sleeping in a chair.

Finally. It happened. I went into labor. And boy did it hurt. Thankfully Lolly Racket was at my house. I had let her come over to swim and she called me a taxi for the Hospital, since I couldn’t drive myself.

Otis handled all the screaming well and just sat on the couch. Calmly. I’m sure he was thinking it was about time.

My pregnancy kept delivering surprises once I got to the hospital. It was a surprise I was even pregnant. And something else was a surprise.

I had triplets!! I was not prepared for that at all. I passed out after I delivered the last one. All boys. I had one named picked out for each gender. I couldn’t even come up with middle names at that point. But I finally named them. Tyler, Taylor and Tyson – in order of birth.

To say I was overwhelmed. Well. That would be an understatement. I had no idea how I was going to handle 3 babies. Blaise helped me get two more cribs, so at least they’d have places to sleep.

I was exhausted though. One would quite down, another would cry. I took to sleeping in the rocker, when I could. I felt like I rarely left the nursery. If I did, I took a baby monitor with me.

I was so thankful when Ro finally arrived. I cried like one of my babies.

He jumped right in and started helping with them right away. I think he saved my life, at least he saved my sanity.

Even though I wasn’t expecting triplets. Or even one. I loved my boys. I finally felt like I had a home again. At least Dean gave me something good. I wasn’t sure how I’d tell them about their Dad some day. But I wasn’t going to worry about that for a long time.

 

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Note from Queenie. I wasn’t expecting triplets. loloolol. I was like WHAT?! Yeah, I had her listen to the kids station and etc, but triplets? Greta and Gabby were hard enough XD. And yeah, her house is the same house. I was like, I’m not building another house. I’ll just remodel it some lol.

4-7 Why Don’t You Love Me

I bought a fish tank. For me, it was to have some fish as pets. And to fill the house more. It felt empty. For Otis – it was entertainment.

Maybe it wasn’t the lack of things that made the house feel empty for me. But the lack of people. Of family. I had grown up with a house filled with family. I thought maybe it’d get easier, living by myself, as time went by. But it didn’t. I missed my family. Roland was living with Buffy, in Bridgeport. I couldn’t expect my married brother to live with me. Harmz was living wherever her and Eric felt like, with Skye. And my parents. They were gone.

Dean coming over helped. Though at times it confused me more. But his presence made me feel happy. We had fun together. We laughed together.

He even surprised me one night with a hot air balloon ride! I was shocked. I knew you could rent one in Aurora Skies, but I never thought I’d go on one.

“How do you know how to fly a hot air balloon?” I asked Dean, as we floated our way over the town.

“I’m a man of many talents.” Dean stated.

Sometimes. I felt like there was a lot I didn’t know about Dean. Like there was a part of him that was kept locked away inside him somewhere.

I tried not to think about that and just enjoy our night together. He even packed champagne. Granted, I’m not really into champagne. But I didn’t want to upset him. It was sweet of him to do that.

After we had our drinks, we sat down in the basket and looked around. Before looking at each other.

It was pretty romantic. Kissing while floating above a snow-covered Aurora Skies.

Very romantic, for sure.

Later on, after we took the hot air balloon back to the rental place. We went to the always empty coffee-house, for some hot cocoa.

“Raven.” Dean started, after he asked me to go to a more private part of the building. Heck it was all pretty much private. Except for the creepy barista in the main room.

He seemed pretty serious. There was a long pause. My head started coming up with wild theories about what he wanted to say. Maybe it was about us? Did he want us to become official? That thought made me so happy, I almost jumped out of my seat.

“I’ve been accepted into a program. The program allows teachers to teach at different schools around the globe every school year.” Dean told me.

I stopped breathing for a few moments. My heart sank. A cold chill ran down my spine. He kept talking but I wasn’t processing what he was saying. I just wanted to run away and cry.

“I leave for England next week.”

I did hear that.

We ended up going to my house. I didn’t want him to come home with me, for once. But I wasn’t sure how to tell him that. We actually just went to sleep.

Well. He did. I couldn’t sleep. I wondered if he could tell that him leaving bothered me? That the thought was breaking my heart?

After laying there for a while, I just got up. I stood there and stared him. It seemed like I stared at him forever. Why did he have to leave? I understood in my head why. But my heart didn’t get it. Why do they all leave?

I went upstairs and made musclecakes, as my family calls them. Then I cleaned, waiting for him to wake up. I had to stay busy. If I didn’t, I knew I was going to end up on the floor, crying. It hurt. It hurt so bad. It shouldn’t have hurt that much. I didn’t want to admit to myself why it did.

“Those were delicious, thanks for breakfast, Raven.” Dean told me after he finished his last bite.

“You’re welcome.” I said quietly. I hadn’t touched mine. I wasn’t hungry. I just felt numb by that point. Which I preferred over how I felt when I had gotten to the Kitchen.

He left after that, for work. His work. He freaking work. I hated it. I didn’t even want to do alchemy anymore. But I knew I had to. It was how I made money.

The following week went by way to fast for my liking. In fact, I barely saw him. He was too busy getting ready for his move.

He did invite me to meet him at the local pond on his last day in town. He invited me to go ice skating with him, but I told him I didn’t feel like it.

“What’s wrong?” He asked me.

I almost blew up at him. But I didn’t. I didn’t want our last words to each other to be angry ones.

“I’m just tired.” I lied. I didn’t like lying, but I couldn’t say the truth. At least not in my mind, because I knew it wouldn’t change anything. I had come to realize that I loved him. But it didn’t matter. Because if he loved me, he wouldn’t leave.

“We can still text and call each other.” He told me. I actually didn’t want to do that. But if he made the effort, I would to.

Dean pulled me into a hug. I tried my best not to cling to him. It was hard. Even though I had this crushing weight on my heart over the fact that he didn’t feel about me how I felt about him. I still didn’t want him to leave me. I wanted to cry in his arms, but I held it together. I wasn’t going to let him see me cry. I didn’t want him to know the truth. Or feel guilty. At least he had never lied to me and said he loved me when he didn’t. I was thankful for that. Maybe that’s something twisted to be thankful for. But it was the truth.

Dean surprised me by kissing me. I kissed him back. I thought about holding back, but I didn’t. If that was to be our last kiss, then I was going to make it a passionate one. Maybe. Maybe he wouldn’t forget me that way.

He stepped back. Gave me a small smile, turned and walked away. I stood there for a long time, until I started shivering from the cold. I don’t even remember driving myself to the house.

For days, I stayed inside. Walking around in my pajamas. Not really doing anything, outside of making sure Otis was taken care of. Honestly it was a good thing I had him. He was the only reason I got out of bed, other than to use the bathroom.

I ate whatever was left in my fridge. Including a tub of ice cream for dinner one night. Sadly, ice cream didn’t make me feel better. It didn’t give me comfort, like TV shows and movies imply it does.

I wasn’t sure why I had thought it was a good idea to hang up that stupid picture of us kissing. I had been stupidly happy at that point in time, I guess. I wanted to rip it down and light it on fire. Then send the ashes to him. And tell him that’s what was left of my heart. I wasn’t sure how much more I could take. I knew when I went out, the whole town would remind me of him. The house reminded me of him.

I called Harmz. I had to talk to someone. While I was talking to her. I had an idea. I wasn’t sure if it would really solve anything, but I had to try. She agreed to help me with it.

I took one last look at our picture, before tears started streaming down my face again. I couldn’t see it anymore through my tears.

“You lied to me.” I whispered, ripping it off the wall and throwing it on the floor. “You said you wouldn’t let me fall.” I choked out before sinking to the floor and covering my face with my hands. “But you did.”

4-6 Don’t Call It Love

Having Skye around was interesting. She didn’t want to go shopping. She didn’t want to do “girly things”. She barely wanted to leave the house.

“I just don’t like people.” She explained when I asked her about it.

I could kind of get that. People aren’t always that great. But it made me worry about her.

She did, however, love Otis. And he loved her. That’s where he slept at night when Skye was visiting. In the guest bedroom. I tried to make it girl friendly when I found out she’d be staying with me for a bit.

But. Who wouldn’t love Otis? He was so cute. I bought him a kitty play palace to play in. Not spoiled at all. Nope.

I really wasn’t sure of how to connect with Skye though. I had always been close to my family. I remember playing with Skye when I was a kid and she was a toddler.

I called Dean over and not just to see him. He had experience with teenagers. Being a teacher and all. I wanted his advice.

“Everyone is different. You have to keep in mind that Skye is her own person. Her own personality. Find out what interests her and go from there.”

That made sense. I guess I was thinking that since Skye is Harmony’s daughter – she’d be like Harmz. I should have known better than that.

“Thank you, Dean. That actually makes a lot of sense.” I told him with a smile.

He nodded his head.

“I’ve…uhh. Actually wanted to talk to you. About some stuff.” Dean told me. He looked really nervous.

“Okay?” I asked, confused.

“Well. We’ve been kind of…dancing around the fact that we’re attracted to each other. Obviously. We’ve made out. Twice.”

“So you remember that….” I said softly.

“Yes.” He confirmed.

I stood there, not sure what to say. I couldn’t deny what he was saying. But I was kind of afraid. I wasn’t sure where he was going with the conversation.

“We have a good time together. We’re friends. I don’t think that should change.”

“Oh.” I said. I felt…sad. For some reason. I wanted to cry actually. I didn’t get why.

“But. I think, if we keep hanging out. Eventually. We’re going to end up in bed together.” He continued.

My cheeks grew hot. I wasn’t expecting to hear that from him.

“So. I’m proposing that we try something.”

“What is it?” I asked him.

“Friends with benefits.”

Yeah. I wasn’t expecting to hear that one either. I stood there for a few moments. Trying to think. 

“Okay.” I finally said, nervously. But deep down, I wanted it. If that was all I could get. I was going to take it. I wasn’t sure how it’d turn out. I don’t think he knew either. It could be a disaster. But, I felt what he said was true. I did think eventually we’d give in to our urges. And it might be worse if we did it that way. It might have made things awkward in our friendship. One of us could have ended up hurt.

We didn’t set a time to officially take the next step, we just decided to let it happen when we wanted it to.

In the meantime, Dean invited myself and Skye to the Fall Festival. She actually agreed to go. I was kind of shocked.

We all entered a hot dog eating contest.

And I won! My winnings? More hot dogs. Eh. At least I had bragging rights.

Then Skye took off somewhere, I let her go. Hovering wasn’t going to help us bond. I ended up rollerblading with Dean. I think we’re both getting a bit better at the whole skating thing. No bruises that time.

And another picture for my collection.

We went to see “Aquaman” at the movie theatre. Mainly so I could drool over the lead character.

Afterwards, something strange happened.

“Umm. Dean. What are you doing?” I asked, perplexed.

“You’d be surprised what people throw away in these things.” He explained, before he dove in. To a dumpster. And began rummaging around in it like a raccoon. Or a possum.

“Uhh. Dean….” I said. Some lady had showed up with a camera and was taking his picture.

“Crap!” Dean yelled, getting out of the dumpster. He quickly grabbed my hand – ew- and we ran off. He seemed very nervous about the lady taking his picture, which I didn’t get. Maybe he thought his students would see it and they’d make fun of him or something?

That was one weird day. And I took a shower when I got home. Because germs.

“So. You and Dean have been spending an awful lot of time together.” Skye said, joining me in the hot tub. I was kind of surprised she joined me. It was the first time all summer.

“Mmhmm.” I said, relaxing.

“I think you should go for it already. Seriously, what are you two waiting for?” Skye asked.

I looked over at her. Hmm, maybe there is some Gonzalo in her after all.

“I won’t tell your Dad you talked about sex.” I told her, before closing my eyes again.

“Much appreciated.”

The following week, Dean and I went to the Blue Lagoon for a night of fun. Naturally, we ate first. Got to love bar food. Actually, I love not having to cook.

Then we danced. Neither one of us actually drank that night, which was a first for me being at a bar. But it was a lot of fun without the “juice”.

We ended up back at my house and in my bedroom. I have to admit. I was nervous. I hadn’t been nervous with any other guy. But it was different with Dean.

Yeah. I had an actual boyfriend in High School. But it wasn’t serious. We liked each other. But it wasn’t filled was possibility.

At least. That’s what I was feeling. Possibility with Dean.  I just wasn’t sure he felt the same way.

He did do his best to make me feel at ease.

At least until he surprised me, by picking me up. I let out a very unattractive squeal.

And clung to him like a cat that someone was trying to give a bath.

“Sssh, it’s okay. I’ve got you. I won’t let you fall.” He whispered.

And just like that. I felt better. I relaxed, though I hugged him close to me. I hadn’t felt that safe since my parents held me as a kid.

Dean carried me over to my bed. Which was pretty romantic actually.

“Are you sure?” He asked me. He was actually giving me a chance to back out, if I needed to.

“Shut up and kiss me.”

And he did.

And so much more.

I felt. Giddy. Downright giddy afterwards. I was happy. I tried not to over-analyze things and just enjoy it.

Sadly, Dean had to leave that night. He had work the next morning.

He did come over the next afternoon though and help me with my garden. He said he had always been interested in gardening, since it’s very useful in alchemy. He just never had time for a garden. Plus, he said he wanted to see me. Which I thought was cute.

We both got invited to a house party. We didn’t know we were both going until we showed up at the same time. Another was surprise was he gave me flowers. Not sure where he got them or how he even hid them from me, but hey. Pretty flowers.

“Trust me. It’s a lot of fun in someone else’s bed.” I told Dean, after convincing him to go upstairs with me at the party. Maybe I was a bad influence on him?

He didn’t complain though.

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Fall came to Aurora Skies.

Dean hung out at my house a lot. Skye seemed to like having him there, to my surprise. They talked quite a bit. I was happy about that. But she would be leaving soon. Harmony and Eric were done with their trip and it was time for her to get back to school.

Skye and I decided to hang out around town before she left. I’d like to think her time with me helped her come out of her shell a bit.

We went to the local swimming pool. No one else was there. I guess everyone was hiding again. It was actually a nice day.

“Raven. Thanks for letting me stay with you this summer. It’s actually been pretty cool.” Skye told me.

“You’re welcome. I’ve enjoyed having you here.” I told her “I really mean that. You’re welcome back anytime.” It was nice having family around again. Even if things started off a little – awkward.

Speaking of awkward…

“I think you and Dean have feelings for each other. I know you’re doing this whole banging buddies thing..” She trailed off.

Ummm. How did she know that?

“But I think you two could really have something.”

“First. I’m going to pretend you didn’t use the phrase “banging buddies”. Second….I don’t know what I feel for Dean. He’s my friend. And it’s easy to get things confused in these situations. Lust can be mistaken for love sometimes. Not that I’m saying I feel that for him.” I told her. I wasn’t sure why I was talking to her about all of that.

“I still think you two have feelings for each other. Sometimes other people can see things we ourselves can’t see. Or at least that’s what I read in Dr. Jill’s book.” Skye told me.

Skye and her books. Though I guess that could be true.

“I guess right now. We’re just seeing where things go. But I don’t think he has any plans for it to be something more, Skye.” I told her. Though that thought made my heart hurt a little. I didn’t want to think why it did.

Skye dropped the conversation and we went swimming. It was a bit chilly, but still fun.

That night Skye and I raked up leaves and she played in them. I really was going to miss her. The next morning, she was picked up by Eric.

Thankfully, I still had Otis for company. I think he sensed I was sad about Skye leaving.

I went to the Fall Festival by myself. Dean was working. Plus, I couldn’t get to where I think I had to have someone else with me every time I go somewhere. I needed to do things by myself.

I competed in an apple bobbing contest and got my face painted. It was alright. Wouldn’t exactly call it fun, but it passed the time.

I went up to a park in the hills, light a fire and thought some things over. I wanted Dean with me that day. I missed him when I didn’t see him. It was not a good sign. I needed to stop myself from crossing that line. I just didn’t know how.

Especially when we saw each other often.

And things usually didn’t stay strictly in the friendship zone.

But, it wasn’t always Dean who started things. I did too.

Logic, reason and common sense didn’t seem to matter when I was around Dean.

Or cold weather.

I had things straight in my head when I was apart from him. But when I saw him. That wasn’t the case.

I wasn’t sure how to ask him how he felt though. He never said anything. We talked about basically everything. Except that. Or how I felt. I still wasn’t even sure. I still felt there was possibility with him. Heck, even Skye saw it. But that didn’t mean Dean did.

At the end of Fall, he spent the night at my house. Yeah, he had done that before. But only when he was sleeping off being drunk. Not after we had been together. And we slept in the same bed. It felt like things were crossing into a different territory for us.

4-5 TiK ToK

I needed to find something to either focus my mind or make me not think. I tried working out at the local gym. I fell on the treadmill. But so did all the women around me. Yeah, turns out there are people at the gym. Maybe that’s where they all hide.

I dropped off some elixirs to sell at the potions store and decided to study alchemy there too. Change of scenery.

I decided to take a walk around town. Why when I have a car with a heater in it? I don’t know. But this guy was singing his butt off. So I stopped and watched him for a bit.

“Sir. I think you should get in side before you freeze to death.” I told him during a break during songs. He ignored me.

The next day, the person I was trying not to think about – called me.

He invited me to ice skate with him at the Winter Festival. That didn’t sound so bad.

Felt bad though. Ouch. My knees were bruised for a week.

We also built a snowman. I didn’t even have to sing the song. Dean was quite for the most part. I forgot it was Christmas to be honest. It hit me that I had never heard him talk about any family. I guess I wasn’t the only one who was alone at the Holidays. He was too. It made sense that he’d want to hang out that day.

We got our picture taken that day too. I added it to my collection. That took me to a grand total of two personal pictures in my home.

I decided to try to throw a kind of New Year’s Eve party.

I honestly just went through the phone book and invited people.

Dean was invited. Because he was only one I knew in that town.

Or so I thought.

“Hello Raven.”

Lady Cooper. The fortune teller and witch, that my Mom and Dad went to when they wanted to find out if I was really my Dad’s kid. And she looked young. Must be a witch thing.

“Hello, Lady Cooper.”  I replied.

“I suggest you server your attachment to the fairy off to our side.” She told me, before walking away.

I looked over and there was Lief. Opps. I briefly wondered how she knew about all that. But guess that’s part of being a fortune-teller.

He wasn’t happy I “broke up” with him. We were never really together. It was just one time. Maybe he wasn’t mad that I wasn’t joining his legion of baby mammas.

I ended the dud of a night listening to Dean play the guitar. That was the best part of the whole thing. My party throwing skills needed work.

The next evening, I got a call from Harmz. They were coming to visit me! I was so excited. I couldn’t wait.

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It seemed to take forever for them to get there. But it was only a week.

I was so glad to see my great cousin. Who was more like an Aunt really.

And to see Skye. Who had brought homework with her for some reason. She was not in a talking mood. And Eric was at the local Hospital, doing his Doctor stuff. So Harmz and I left the house.

“See what I mean?” I asked her. I had been telling her how empty the coffee-house always is.

“Yikes. Let’s go somewhere else.” She suggested.

We decided on one of the beaches. It was nice enough outside to enjoy it.

“So, tell me more about Dean.”

I had told her bits and pieces via text messages.

“There’s not much to tell. We hang out sometimes. We go to the bar. And the town festivals. He came to my lame New Year’s Eve party.”

I paused. She knew about the kiss.

“There was that kiss. But we had both been drinking. So it didn’t mean anything.”

“Raven. I think it does. He wants to hang out with you. And not just to go drink.” Harmony started.

“I think he’s just lonely like I am.” I told her.

“Maybe he is kind of lonely. I’ll give you that one. But I still think you should say how you feel. Even if he don’t feel the same way, at least you’ll know.” She finished.

The problem with that was. I didn’t know what I felt. Maybe I was just confused and trying to latch onto Dean because he was familiar and I had lost so much in a short time span.

Harmz left me to my thoughts as we fished in silence.

Of course, she and Eric decided to be all cute and couple like after we got home. Darn them.

And that just overdid it, in my book. I did ask later why Eric had wings again. He explained that they come back on some former fairies, even if they are no longer fairies. There wasn’t really anything that could be done about it, because it was actually an illusion produced by his body since he was born fae.

Harmony gave me a lot to think about that day. And so did watching her with Eric. I didn’t know exactly what I was feeling. So I didn’t want to say anything. But that didn’t mean I couldn’t try to figure out what Dean was thinking or feeling.

I decided to throw another party – this time with some help from Harmz and Eric.

A kegger!

I invited Dean. And a bunch of people from the phone book again.

I had to get myself some liquid courage for the night. I didn’t want to try to push things. Just feel things out with Dean.

He seemed pretty enthused with the party at least.

So did Eric. I had never seen him drink before.

I also didn’t know how strong he was. It’s kind of weird. Eric was born around the same time as my Mom. But since he was born Fae, he aged slower until he married Harmz and renounced his fairy status. I just sometimes forgot that he knew my Mom. That he grew up with her.

Skye was the only teen there, but we wanted her to feel included.

“Eh, I’ll go read a book.” She said, before going downstairs. I had noticed she didn’t like crowds much. Or people.

“Hey. Harmz.” I whispered “Help me do a keg stand.”

“I don’t know, Raven. I haven’t worked out in a while…” She replied.

But helped me do one anyway. It was going pretty well….

Then it all came crashing down. Well. I did.

“I am so sorry!” Harmz exclaimed, freaking out.

“It’s okay. The only thing really hurt is my pride.” I told her, as she helped me up. It was my stupid idea. I couldn’t blame her.

“Are you alright?” Dean asked, after he came over to check on me.

“Yeah….I’ll live.” I told him. He actually seemed genuinely concerned. But, friends do care about each other. I told myself it was just that.

He asked me to dance with him. We danced for a while. Then he went back to the keg. Over and over. And over.

Yeah, I was not letting him drive home. I took his keys from him. Then took him downstairs, to sleep it off.

He stopped me and stroked my cheek. Saying nothing. I didn’t know what to think. I almost cried. No one had ever done something like that to me. Ever. It made me feel. Special.

I took a deep breath and shook my head.

“Dean. You need to try to sleep this off. I’m going to leave you down here, okay? I need to go clean up after the party.” I told him and went to leave.

He grabbed me and dipped me. I let out a small scream and was worried he’d drop me.

Before I had time to ask him to put me down, he kissed me. I was stunned.

Somehow, we made it to the bed. I don’t even remember how.

I had never felt so much with somebody. It was almost too much for me to handle, in my mind and in my heart.

I knew we had to stop, once I started to actually think again. He was drunk. I couldn’t do that to him.

I pushed him back a little “We need to stop.”

“Why?” He asked me.

“Because. You’re drunk. And this could totally mess up our friendship.”

Dean drew closer to me. I could feel his breath on my face. It smelled of booze, but also of cherries for some reason.

“I don’t want to…stop. Do you?” He asked me.

No I didn’t want to stop! But I knew I had to. I nodded my head.

Dean did move back. We just kind of looked at each other. I guess neither of us knew what to say.

Then he turned over and went to sleep. I laid there for a bit. I never dreamed any of that would happen. I wasn’t sure what to do.

I went up to clean then it was time for breakfast. I sat down to eat and Harmz’ came up to me.

“I need you to watch Skye for a while.”

I choked on my food. Me? Watch a teenager? I remembered being one. I wasn’t always a good girl as a teen. Though Skye seemed different on that front. Just cranky.

I agreed to do it. Because family helps each other. I guess her and Eric wanted to take a trip together. I told her just not to come back pregnant.